7 Steps to De-Program Your Fears & Rewrite Your Success Story
Running your own business is scary. And it brings up a lot of fears that you may or may not have ever known you even had. That fear of success at someone else’s expense - totally felt that one. Fear of letting people see me being vulnerable - felt that one too. Fear of not measuring up and not being “good enough” - yep, that one too!
And a myriad of other fears:
fear of making money while simultaneously being afraid of running out of money
fear of sharing a messy office or my face with no makeup
fear of sharing something because of what my family and friends will think of me
fear of going after something because it seems too big and out of reach
fear of being worthy of love, attention, success, (insert all the things I’ve ever wanted)
and soooo many more!
About a year ago now, I was introduced to my current mastermind coach, Kelly Marcyniuk. One of the things that drew me to her like a moth to a flame is her ability to say “F this!” to anything that’s in her way and create her own success. She doesn’t let fear hold her back - and that’s on purpose, not because she has any special super powers or doesn’t doubt herself sometimes.
Over the last 8-ish months of being in her mastermind, I’ve learned how to harness that same attitude of sorts. The way she does it is through an incredible journaling technique that has completely changed the way I look at myself and my business.
LETTING GO OF FEAR, NO SUPERPOWERS NEEDED
This technique has helped me rewrite the script playing in my head - the one that used to feed my fears. Instead I’m able to rewrite them and shift that energy from negative to positive, let go of the fear, and embrace my talents and desires without comparison or guilt.
I’m so in love with teaching this technique to my clients! And seeing them let go of their own fears and shift that to feeling empowered.
And since we are basically besties, I want to give it this technique to you too. So you can let go of those fears, stand in your own power, and get back to feeling like your awesome, amazing, kick-butt self.
HERE’S HOW IT WORKS:
1. Identify the fear or limiting belief.
What are you feeling scared, worried, or guilty or about? If you can, dig deeper and keep asking “what is it that I’m really worried about” until you get to the root fear.
2. Where did it come from? What was your first memory of it?
Where did this fear, worry, or guilt come from in the first place? A lot of mine come from my childhood and my own perception of what was going on. Try to think back to the first time you remember feeling this fear, guilt, or worry. What has going on? Who was around? Any smells or sounds?
3. How has it been a repeating pattern throughout your life?
Have you seen this pop up multiple times? When else have you felt this way? Do you notice a pattern?
4. What would you tell your younger self now?
If you could go see that younger version of yourself when you first felt this way (or even later), what would you tell her about this belief?
5. How can you forgive yourself and anyone else involved?
Letting go of this belief must include forgiveness. How you can you let go of any shame or guilt or resentment you have about feeling this way? It might be forgiving yourself and it might be forgiving others. For instance, you might have a belief that you built throughout your childhood watching your parents. It might be helpful to forgive your parents for the role they played in cementing that belief (even if it wasn’t malicious) in your mind.
6. What is the new belief you are replacing the limiting belief or fear with?
Now that we’ve identified your fear and forgiven all parties, we need to fill that space in your brain with a new positive belief. What do you want to believe or feel now? Write it as if you already believe it, like it’s gospel in your life already.
7. How will you choose this over your past belief when you find yourself going back to the old belief?
This is crucial! Because we have a tendency to fall back into our old thought patterns, it’s imperative that you have a plan to practice letting go of the old belief and stepping into the new belief. What will you do when you find yourself slipping into that old thinking?
That’s it! I love to do this in a journal and just write until I feel like I’ve uncovered everything. Sometimes this is super short and only takes half a page and other times it takes 5 pages or more.
Give it a try and let me know how it goes!
Need some help? DM me and I’d be happy to go through the exercise with you! This type of mindset work is my jam and I love helping you uncover and rewrite fears.
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